You're Gonna Carry That Weight

in their screams
they speak in perfect clarity
like pentecost
we're beyond far from the apostels...

and I know none of us will ever be jesus

but I think If no one just says fuck yeah

I never will again

http://farewelltoday.blogspot.com/ is new again
@howardfrank on twitter
and then theres my facebook

still no job... 1 win all season in hockey, tho i got a goal... no income is killing me right now tho, bill/collectors piling up and nothing coming round to help
on the up side when i can be able to ge to school when i can get rid of said debt the post 9/11 gi bill gets me 70% paid.

which was going through and deleting things from my myspace inbox and coming across us replying to each other because it feels like i want to tear my self apart

I have these words
The whole Webster's Dictionary of the English language as my palate
Definitions of them as short
As my first line above
And some longer than you would consider necessary

Yet lately these words no longer appear as anything coherent
As if my vocabulary has been erased from my brain
All those precious wrinkles made smooth
Seeing ideas in shapes and colors
           Taunted with the inability to put them down

                 Shackled to a … a … dammit whats the word
                        Oh nevermind

Storm clouds
Your favorite
Filled with arcing bolts of electricity
Flashes of deadly white and blue
That are just as beautiful
Wetness dripping down the sides of this mountain home
I'm now beginning to think you will never see

Closed eyes and deep breath
You come into view
In perfect detail
Though each sense seems to dull with every passing day

On nights like these


It's hard to ever forget

I'm on a Get Up Kids kick again for some reason. Though its not helping me write much, with any of the musical obsessions I've had lately, which is surprising because it usually helps. I don't think I've really come along with something I've been really satisfied with in a writing prespective in god knows how long. The occasion blog thing here or there, mostly a brain dump if anything to just shake things loose. Still even then during those I used to be able to come up with something solid that i could sit back and look at and go, "yeah... that was pretty good... I like that." Its fairly bothersome actually, like I'm losing a part of me, or like I might lose a way of expressing myself more fully. Its like the part that's able to do that is now speaking in a different language from the rest of it and there's nothing to translate. I know there are ideas and works and things that want to come out, and I've felt at times like they need to come out but then my hands just stall. As if a wall gets put up and nothing can get through. The last time I wrote with any fervor or what I thought was of any substance was when I was traveling home from work back from South Carolina.
Even now I'm trying to get that going again and my brain...it's like its forgotten how. Fucking frustrating isn't even a word I think I can use anymore. bah... hopefully patience will win out.

You Bring Me Joy




and IM ON A BOAT

I'm on a Boat Feat. T-Pain

that is all

http://farewelltoday.blogspot.com/

i dunno what im using it for just yet... maybe for something more 'serious' i dunno but maybe trying to just write more in a new place for change i dunno.

so i'm back 'home' after the move... most stuff already situated... though i'm having quite the annoyance with my newly recovered desktop.
what was working fairly well at the apt now seems to want to just fuck with me any time i get some actual desk/chair involved and try to make a bit of a workstation for myslef. for some reason it running obscenely sluggish for no real reason, and keeps telling me avg is still on it when unless i open up the drive and mess with magnets that'll be the only way i can find the damn program anymore. i've restored and unintalled to many times but its eithe my pc or kaspersky thats being a little bitch.
things have to stop being little bitches

and other who hate the book as much as she does

http://www.the-editing-room.com/twilight.html

I'm completely hooked on this album. I really don't know why I never picked it up before.
Cursive's Happy Hollow rules.
fav tracks are big bang, so-so gigolo, and dorothy dreams of tornadoes but the whole album has been playing itself incessantly on my lappy these days. Supposedly a concept album revolving bout a small town and its peoples dealing with religious dogma and hypocrisy. Meh go listen its goodstuffs. (edit) also awesome line "She quipped quite the opposite/I'm hardly the virgin mary/and you're no carpenter/so who will build my home"

I still need to pick up the new thursday/envy viny/cd split, and to find some new music in general.

i started by watching one thing which led to another and another then i ran across this wonderful bit by ricky gervais. (i love him)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tek9EWZrTPw

I really should pay attn. to last.fm a bit more mainly because of their comprehensive concert listings. When i have the money there's quite a few I'd like to get to in the next few months.

01/16 we're all broken - ny,ny
01/19 cursive - mercury lounge ny
01/22 funeral for a friend, the sleeping, emarosa - irving plaza ny
02/06 nurder by death - bowery ballroom ny
03/04 thursday (headlining taste of chaos with bands i dont know or care about but hey when do i turn away thursday) nokia theater times square
04/07 possibly a neat odd one pretty much the night of solo projects Craig Owens, the color fred, ace enders and a million different people, and heh versaemerge


hopefully i might actually be able to get to more than 2 of these and next one i go to I'm gonna have to make sure i have some sort of earplugs because the ringing and the loss is getting bad.

Feb 17, 2009 Commmon Existence will be out from thursday... and there was much rejoycing

http://www.spin.com/articles/exclusive-video-thursday-studio

For any of you in the area tonight, at Olive's tonight round 10pm, I believe, a friend of mine is putting on a show. We're All Broken, is playing with a few others it should be great fun. The music on cd/interwebs is good but a whole other thing live. So drop by check it out make funtimes.

My dad's long time friend and pretty much brother died tragically this past sunday. Just back in from the funeral as of maybe an hr ago. I was fine and thought ok communion is done we go out bury a good man and we can put this behind us. Then his son and daughter came up to speak (both of which I've known since I was tiny), and the 4-600 of us collectively went... damn... and even if we were trying not to broke down into about a billion pieces.

Its been a rough few days. I really I'm only sort of starting to imagine not being able to see Ronnie again, and it's probably going to sting for a while. Not sure what else to say right now, I think I'll settling for trying not to think for about 12 hrs or more.

if you want in i need a few more people to play.... free on yahoo ID# is 53677.