You're Gonna Carry That Weight

im out of my wind and writing i need clarity

2009-07-25T07:52:21Z

in their screams
they speak in perfect clarity
like pentecost
we're beyond far from the apostels...

and I know none of us will ever be jesus

but I think If no one just says fuck yeah

I never will again

quick updates

2009-07-16T02:07:32Z

http://farewelltoday.blogspot.com/ is new again
@howardfrank on twitter
and then theres my facebook

still no job... 1 win all season in hockey, tho i got a goal... no income is killing me right now tho, bill/collectors piling up and nothing coming round to help
on the up side when i can be able to ge to school when i can get rid of said debt the post 9/11 gi bill gets me 70% paid.

that was a bad idea

2009-04-28T07:04:29Z

which was going through and deleting things from my myspace inbox and coming across us replying to each other because it feels like i want to tear my self apart

goodbyesnothing @ 2009-04-28T01:46:00

2009-04-28T05:47:23Z

I have these words
The whole Webster's Dictionary of the English language as my palate
Definitions of them as short
As my first line above
And some longer than you would consider necessary

Yet lately these words no longer appear as anything coherent
As if my vocabulary has been erased from my brain
All those precious wrinkles made smooth
Seeing ideas in shapes and colors
           Taunted with the inability to put them down

                 Shackled to a … a … dammit whats the word
                        Oh nevermind

rough at best...still think i need more

2009-04-23T05:53:25Z

Storm clouds
Your favorite
Filled with arcing bolts of electricity
Flashes of deadly white and blue
That are just as beautiful
Wetness dripping down the sides of this mountain home
I'm now beginning to think you will never see

Closed eyes and deep breath
You come into view
In perfect detail
Though each sense seems to dull with every passing day

On nights like these

It's hard to ever forget

goodbyesnothing @ 2009-04-17T03:40:00

2009-04-17T07:57:13Z

I'm on a Get Up Kids kick again for some reason. Though its not helping me write much, with any of the musical obsessions I've had lately, which is surprising because it usually helps. I don't think I've really come along with something I've been really satisfied with in a writing prespective in god knows how long. The occasion blog thing here or there, mostly a brain dump if anything to just shake things loose. Still even then during those I used to be able to come up with something solid that i could sit back and look at and go, "yeah... that was pretty good... I like that." Its fairly bothersome actually, like I'm losing a part of me, or like I might lose a way of expressing myself more fully. Its like the part that's able to do that is now speaking in a different language from the rest of it and there's nothing to translate. I know there are ideas and works and things that want to come out, and I've felt at times like they need to come out but then my hands just stall. As if a wall gets put up and nothing can get through. The last time I wrote with any fervor or what I thought was of any substance was when I was traveling home from work back from South Carolina.
Even now I'm trying to get that going again and my brain...it's like its forgotten how. Fucking frustrating isn't even a word I think I can use anymore. bah... hopefully patience will win out.

wow

2009-04-12T08:56:56Z

because this vid still rules

2009-02-21T10:10:58Z

You Bring Me Joy

and IM ON A BOAT

I'm on a Boat Feat. T-Pain

HEY KIDS!!!!!

2009-02-12T01:43:11Z

that is all

goodbyesnothing @ 2009-02-09T23:32:00

2009-02-10T04:34:28Z

http://farewelltoday.blogspot.com/

i dunno what im using it for just yet... maybe for something more 'serious' i dunno but maybe trying to just write more in a new place for change i dunno.

goodbyesnothing @ 2009-02-01T02:09:00

2009-02-01T07:15:41Z

so i'm back 'home' after the move... most stuff already situated... though i'm having quite the annoyance with my newly recovered desktop.
what was working fairly well at the apt now seems to want to just fuck with me any time i get some actual desk/chair involved and try to make a bit of a workstation for myslef. for some reason it running obscenely sluggish for no real reason, and keeps telling me avg is still on it when unless i open up the drive and mess with magnets that'll be the only way i can find the damn program anymore. i've restored and unintalled to many times but its eithe my pc or kaspersky thats being a little bitch.
things have to stop being little bitches

for bunny

2009-01-19T01:01:06Z

and other who hate the book as much as she does

http://www.the-editing-room.com/twilight.html

addicted to cursive

2009-01-08T05:33:36Z

I'm completely hooked on this album. I really don't know why I never picked it up before.
Cursive's Happy Hollow rules.
fav tracks are big bang, so-so gigolo, and dorothy dreams of tornadoes but the whole album has been playing itself incessantly on my lappy these days. Supposedly a concept album revolving bout a small town and its peoples dealing with religious dogma and hypocrisy. Meh go listen its goodstuffs. (edit) also awesome line "She quipped quite the opposite/I'm hardly the virgin mary/and you're no carpenter/so who will build my home"

I still need to pick up the new thursday/envy viny/cd split, and to find some new music in general.

i got distracted

2009-01-03T12:09:37Z

i started by watching one thing which led to another and another then i ran across this wonderful bit by ricky gervais. (i love him)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tek9EWZrTPw

ooh shiny

2009-01-02T14:51:14Z

I really should pay attn. to last.fm a bit more mainly because of their comprehensive concert listings. When i have the money there's quite a few I'd like to get to in the next few months.

01/16 we're all broken - ny,ny
01/19 cursive - mercury lounge ny
01/22 funeral for a friend, the sleeping, emarosa - irving plaza ny
02/06 nurder by death - bowery ballroom ny
03/04 thursday (headlining taste of chaos with bands i dont know or care about but hey when do i turn away thursday) nokia theater times square
04/07 possibly a neat odd one pretty much the night of solo projects Craig Owens, the color fred, ace enders and a million different people, and heh versaemerge

hopefully i might actually be able to get to more than 2 of these and next one i go to I'm gonna have to make sure i have some sort of earplugs because the ringing and the loss is getting bad.

goodbyesnothing @ 2008-12-17T02:14:00

2008-12-17T07:15:12Z

Rednecks
Circle I Limbo

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Creationists
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Militant Vegans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

General asshats
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

PETA Members
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Osama bin Laden
Circle VII Burning Sands

NAMBLA Members
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

George Bush
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

woo

2008-11-19T10:22:40Z

Feb 17, 2009 Commmon Existence will be out from thursday... and there was much rejoycing

http://www.spin.com/articles/exclusive-video-thursday-studio

goodbyesnothing @ 2008-11-07T13:50:00

2008-11-07T18:53:06Z

For any of you in the area tonight, at Olive's tonight round 10pm, I believe, a friend of mine is putting on a show. We're All Broken, is playing with a few others it should be great fun. The music on cd/interwebs is good but a whole other thing live. So drop by check it out make funtimes.

goodbyesnothing @ 2008-10-23T15:10:00

2008-10-23T19:16:56Z

My dad's long time friend and pretty much brother died tragically this past sunday. Just back in from the funeral as of maybe an hr ago. I was fine and thought ok communion is done we go out bury a good man and we can put this behind us. Then his son and daughter came up to speak (both of which I've known since I was tiny), and the 4-600 of us collectively went... damn... and even if we were trying not to broke down into about a billion pieces.

Its been a rough few days. I really I'm only sort of starting to imagine not being able to see Ronnie again, and it's probably going to sting for a while. Not sure what else to say right now, I think I'll settling for trying not to think for about 12 hrs or more.

playin fantasy hockey again

2008-09-23T18:57:11Z

if you want in i need a few more people to play.... free on yahoo ID# is 53677.

beat that bitches

2008-09-21T06:27:25Z

1 minute, 25 seconds

and i have pictures of me and my pretty hat soon to come

goodbyesnothing @ 2008-09-05T15:40:00

2008-09-05T19:47:48Z

So I been out of work nearly the whole week. Yay. Because I nearly twisted my ankle off. Boo. So Tues. night I'm working taking some things apart when my balance decides to take a 5 without letting me know, and as I'm attempting to save my self from much hurting my left foot manages to grab hold of the step with my toes while the rest of my body moves towards the ground and provides a whole lot of torque on the ankle. There was a pop and maybe a crunch but somehow no break, some ligament damage from what the orthopedist said but nothing really serious. It's still swollen tho and I most definately can't put full weight on it. So they have me with an air cast and an old man cane plus some medication, and then once they figure out the workers comp thing I get to go into physical therapy for 4 weeks.
And somehow I'm missing a weeks worth of hrs from my paycheck. At least I got 12 hrs work of OT before i got hurt.

yellow ribbons

2008-07-25T13:20:08Z

http://nataliedee.com/012405/ribbon-based-economy.jpg

yay funny

2008-07-23T16:33:18Z

goodbyesnothing @ 2008-07-17T09:19:00

2008-07-17T13:26:20Z

www.drhorrible.com thats for those of you who don't know already. just go there and you'll be pleasantly surprised. my phone has taken to not working well or at all tonight or at some point of while it was in the car, i don't know why but it keeps turning off so if it wants to be off it'll stay off til I wake up later tonight.
I'm having a rough time with my electronics lately, my desktop pretty much shit itself a few weeks ago and I can;t even run a recovery with an XP disc because it says there are 0 HD on the system when the bios most definately assures me that they are both there. now my phone, and the router gives me problems every so often as well.
I think this week I'm at close to 47 hours, and I actually don't mind all that much... the drive back and forth to Danbury sucks but I'm not driving so its not all that bad... and on this trip 3 of us are 'testing' if you will for promotion.
It also looks like I won't be seeing Dark Knight til next week when I might be able to actually get myself a ticket for the damned thing.

I'm tired I'm going to sleep.